


Telecommunication

by betasbananas



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, also vague widojest, kinda vague shadogast mentioned, spoilers up to ep 98
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-12
Updated: 2020-03-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:33:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23121046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/betasbananas/pseuds/betasbananas
Summary: Messages on the first few days of a voyage(Jester checks in on Essek, he attempts to respond)
Relationships: Jester Lavorre & Essek Thelyss
Comments: 2
Kudos: 103





	Telecommunication

**Author's Note:**

> i haven't written a fic in 10+ years pls be gentle

Essek leaves the Balleater quickly once they let him go. His illusion is back up and he can technically return to the party, but at this point he’d rather just return to his lodgings. He generally hated parties, finding them awful experiences that took too much energy to deal with. This party was especially awful. And embarrassing, Essek thought with a grimace. His awful conversation with Jester, trying to keep his cover was a complete disaster. Everything afterwords just continued his cavalcade of misery.  
  
Later, in the minimum comfort of the room he was staying in, he’s still contemplating everything that happened when Jester’s voice once again ran through his head.  
  
_“Hiiii, how are you feeling? Do you feel guilty, or are you happy, or are you just crying in your room right now? We’re thinking about you.”_  
  
Essek nearly jumped at the voice, instead tightening his grip on side of the mattress. He was used to getting these messages at all times of day by now, but wasn’t expecting it so… soon after what just occurred.  
  
“I am… just contemplating what is to come. I appreciate what sliver of trust allowed me to leave. It’s not forgotten.”  
  
And it wasn’t. His first friends in his entire life and he was barely clinging on to them after ripping what existed of their relationship to shreds.  
  
No, it was shreds to begin with. It was built on the lies you gave to begin with.  
  
His hand still burns where Jester held it.  
  
_“We’ve shown you nothing but kindness.”_  
  
_“You’re not wrong.”_  
-  
_“It’s really sunny out right now Essek, how are you feeling? Did you bring the parasol I gave you or are you hiding somewhere below-”_  
  
He’s on the boat of the Cerberus Assembly when Jester’s voice rings in his head again. It’s only the first day of the voyage, only a few days since he last saw the Mighty Nein, and yet-  
  
“It bothers me a little. I am not using the parasol; an elf of the Menagerie Coast should not be affected by the sun.”  
  
He doesn’t admit that he keeps the parasol in his wristpocket, pulling it out in the safety of his room just to admire it. A gift freely given, not fully necessary but kind. He was preparing to teleport away in a moment, but she still used her limited magic paint to give him a gift.  
  
For a moment he thinks of Jester’s kindness, Caduceus’s forgiveness, and Caleb’s hope and wants to send a message, but he resigns himself and stares out into the sea, feeling the uncomfortable burn of the sun on his disguised skin.  
  
Not yet. He hasn’t yet earned the right to reach out.  
  
_And I doubt I ever will._  
-  
_“Hey Essek, do you have a crush on Caleb? Were you happy when he kissed you? Even though that whole situation was suuuper shitty? Boop!”_  
  
The weather’s shift to cloudy rather than sunny meant that Essek was spending more time on the deck to try and avoid being seen as the suspicious man hiding below deck. This also meant that everyone on deck heard him abruptly start choking on nothing.  
  
His face flushing, Essek covered his mouth, coughing to cover up his mumbled, “Jester, please. I… don’t think that’s something I can even entertain.” The _anymore_ goes unstated, but he can feel it keenly.  
  
The crew isn't looking at him anymore, but he still rushes to a more isolated area of the deck.  
  
_“Oh Essek, don’t worry too much! Caduceus and I already forgave you, so Caleb will too! I promise! You just have to keep your promise!”_  
  
Jester’s voice comes in fast, clearly having read his mood from his response. Somehow her attempts at comfort only make it hurt more.  
  
“Don’t have too much faith in me. I don’t think I’m someone quite worthy of your trust or forgiveness right now.” Or ever.  
  
It’s the wind that causes Essek to wrap his arms around himself, the chill reaching deep into his bones. There is only silence after his response.  
  
He wants to send a message back to ask why. Why do they forgive him? He hasn’t done anything in particular to earn it. He barely regrets doing what he did, nothing about him deserves their soft looks and smiles.  
  
Essek digs his nails into his arm as hard as he can.  
  
“I’m not worth the effort, please just give up. There’s nothing about me that’s earned your forgiveness. Please, just let me rot.”  
  
The message isn’t sent, so the lack of response shouldn’t hurt as much as it does.  
-  
_“Hey Essek have you ever eaten clay? I just had some with Beau and Yasha and it was like super nasty. The clay in your-”_  
  
Is she just trying to make him feel like they’re friendship hasn’t changed? As though everything is completely normal and she’s just keeping him updated with her day?  
  
“I…can’t say that I have. Please don’t eat clay, it can’t possibly be good for you.” Essek stares hard at his book. “Also, please wash your mouth.”  
  
_“Ughhhhh, don’t be so boring Essek! Try new things! Sure, like the clay wasn’t great, but come onnnnn. Have some fun! Do doo dooo do!”_  
  
“I think this world has had enough of me trying new things. Everyone should be happy with me being boring.”  
  
He shuts the conversation down quickly, rather spectacularly in fact. No more responses come, and this time there’s no wind to blame for the chill he feels. Maybe that’s what gets him to move his hands rapidly and send out, “But maybe, when the peace talks are settled, I can try another cupcake of yours.”  
  
Essek sucks in a breath when Jester’s voice, stronger and cheerier than even before sounds through his mind.  
  
_“Essek!!! We can eat a million cupcakes if you want. Black moss is soooo good, but Caleb really likes blueberry even though it’s a boring-”_  
  
Her excitement is palpable, and even he feels a little bit better that this conversation is ending so much better than the one from the other day.  
  
Caleb likes blueberry? It’s not really a shock why, Essek mused. He thinks of blue hair, blue skin, and blue smiles and the mystery is solved.  
  
Ha.  
-  
Orly is looking up at her blearily as the diamond in her hand turns to dust. She can already hear Fjord’s confused voice coming from the side, where Caduceus had just brought him back with the help of the Wildmother.  
  
The Traveler is not a god, Jester thinks quietly, but he can still raise the dead. She feels her hands warm as she sends healing energy through Orly, enough for him to sit up on his own.  
  
“Th-thank you, Jester.”  
  
“Please, just be more careful. If monsters attack again just run away and we’ll do the fighting!” Please don’t die where I can’t see you. She widens her eyes as much as possible, trying to play up the innocence and emotion (trying to guilt him into listening) until he smiles at her. Marius comes to help him up and in a heartbeat she is running to Fjord.  
  
“Fjord, Fjord! Are you okay, are you alright? Did you come back in one piece?” Before he even responds she turns to Caduceus. “Did you get the evil orb out first?”  
  
She’s panicking and everyone can tell. Caleb had dropped down by this point beside Beau and was staring at her. Veth was standing there, her mage hand floating beside her with a sicly yellow orb held in it’s grasp. “Yeah I took it out right before he revived him.”  
  
Fjord, being supported by Yasha, looks at her with a tired smile. “I’m okay Jessie, don’t worry. The Wildmother brought me back.”  
  
Jester is on him within seconds, arms wrapped around his waist and tucking her head against his chest, unashamed in listening for his heartbeat. Don’t go, don’t go please. She can feel his arms wrap around her, and then suddenly the pressure on her back increases seven fold as everyone else piles on them.  
  
“Fjord! I was so worried you asshole!’ Beau’s tucked up against them, face pressed somewhere to the left of Jester’s head. Within seconds everyone’s voice is chiming in, their worried tones rising in volume while Fjord tried to explain what happened.  
  
It wasn’t quieted down at all when another voice chimes into her head, voice rushed and filled with panic.  
  
_“Jester! What happened on your ship? Everyone could here the screams and fighting! Is everyone okay?”_  
  
Jester’s head snaps up, nearly smacking Veth in the face. “Essek! Evil fish monster people attacked us! Fjord died, but he’s alive now! Do you have diamonds? We’re probably going to need a lot more.”  
  
There’s no response for a moment, but Jester can already see everyone staring at her. “Oh Essek was asking what all the noise from our ship was. Apparently, the screaming was, like, realllllly loud.”  
  
No one else has a chance to reply because after a soft pop, Essek appears on the deck, brow furrowed and a familiar upset look on his face, despite the illusion concealing his actual identity.  
  
“What on Exandria happened here?”  
  
He’s looking at their impromptu cuddle pile with distress, but all Jester can think about is how happy she is to see him in person again. _Not just a voice in my head._  
  
She can already see Caleb gearing himself up to start explaining. Then Beau is going to jump in to try to deflect the blame from them, but then Fjord would pull the blame back to himself quickly. Overall, it was going to be a super shitty, rushed explanation.  
  
“It’s like a super long story Essek. Do you want tea while we talk?”  
  
Essek is just staring at them, holding himself a safe distance away, watching them scramble to explain before she watched him raise his hand to rub his face.  
  
“Yes, let’s get off the deck and talk, please.”  
  
She can see his faint smile before he turns around.

**Author's Note:**

> Essek, Caleb, and Jester should all just hold hands pls and thank you


End file.
